Routines cause Relationship Annihilation …

Right now things have gotten too comfortable for some of us. Lately it’s either lack of time, too many responsabilities, or just the daily routines have us cornered. Whatever the situation is, it’s inexcusable and jeopardizing the relationship. He’s somewhere in his world while she’s waiting for that special text or call also vice versa it could be him who’s waiting for her. Until the most awaited event comes true…buzz buzz!! text says “I’m sorry can’t talk tonight…(a million reasons come to life and to shed light and the other S/O is stranded in a loop.

Today’s topic is about the deadliest of all relationship viruses….Routines. Now routines can become seriously contagious and dangerous, why so? Because people get used to a cycle and get sucked in it, sometimes unable to get out and break these repetitive habits. Sometimes these patterns or situations tend to take up the little time we have to spend cherishing sweet moments, yet instead they become crevices in the relationship…sometimes sadly to the point of an undeserved breakup.

Yup i said it the most feared word of all, in a relationship is the B word as in “Breakup”. It’s sad to know that nowadays many people don’t grasp the concept of thinking out of the box, they just comform themselves with whatever they get, if they get anything at all, and just sit back in a comfort zone attitude. As if that’s enough for them, it’s also enough for the S/O. Well it’s not true. People need to understand their habits can cause the other part to fall into a state of sadness asking themselves “Is this all there is?” “Why can’t it move further?” Or even worse “What is happening to us?” Sometimes priorities change, responsabilities of the now come into a new place on the list, Even thoughts of emptiness tend to surface, because no matter how much we try to address certain issues they will still continue to linger in a way, because they were not fixed, only temporarily dismissed. And these tend to cause stress, friction and pain between the couple involved. When you really want a relationship you fight for it to keep it alive like a fire that should always remain burning to survive within its warmth. Cause let’s face it when you’re in danger you struggle and strive to survive, but then after the danger is over or gone, you should stay alert in case it would ever happen again. But some survivors only fade into the past without a fight while others fight to live another day.

The same goes with a relationship, if there’s no struggle, innovations or new ways to keep it alive then there’s no way of survival or no sense of continuing beside them. Sometimes its hard to even think this way, but under such circumstances we’re left with no choices, except to simply hold back our feelings, in order to avoid our hearts breaking any further.

Yet til those very moments have become reality is when a sense of danger disturbs the peace that once protected them by bringing them closer, now only hinders and pushes them further apart. Less time to communicate the weaker their foundation becomes, and without understanding or trust in each other the walls that kept their sheltering love protected… crumbles to a nothing.


Its not me…it’s you

🎶Mere saiyaan ji se aaj maine breakup kar liya🎶

🎶I broke up with my dear beloved today🎶

There’s a nasty virus going around and it’s hitting high and hitting low, some get this sad gutt feeling while others…well they’ll just never ever know.

Ouch that was harsh, I know but it’ll get uglier now and I hate to say it but it’s true, what am I up to this time you might ask? I’m here to talk about the series of events of Breakup Season. It’s usually started after a certain date but hey this is obviously seen, everywhere nowadays (not necessarily predicted).

Before and after our dear New Year has kicked in, things start to change and take their priority list position, and during these changes breakups aren’t excluded, actually they’re the main thing to happen if not dealt carefully with your relationship. The timing for them to occurr is between the last few months of previous ending year and first three months of the New Year so trust me I’ve seen it and heard it. Many of its effects or symptoms are mostly lack of communication, lack of compatibility, goals not met, unsolved business (which continues to linger) maybe heard by but not resolved resulting in frustration and tension. One-sided devotion to the S/O while the other is on planet ……………whatever…. you wish to address the main issue upon.

It’s sad to talk about it but best to address it, due to the fact some of us don’t know how to deal, express or bring up the topic until we finally hit that rock bottom pit which shows us things did not work or go out as planned. Let’s face it, breakups are hard to deal with as to talk about when the occasion arises. Not everyone is able to look forward optimistically once they happen, not everyone recovers or bounces back with ways to cope. First of all they need time to heal, and in order to do so they need to let go, mostly because they weren’t ready for that part. Actualy nobody is !!! If they felt not being prepared to allow someone in their lives, imagine the difficulties and challenges of escorting them out of their daily perimeter we refer to as life. Some times it’s referred to as “I need some space” or “time to think” we usually get these when they’re “confused” or “not feeling accomplished”. If someone cannot stay beside you in bad times, trust me they don’t deserve you at your best. Sometimes they don’t even realize they left you, to them it was just a break for them, they needed time from their overburdened hearts and souls but end up blaming the victim. Yup, they stab you yet they’re bleeding to death (figures when they’re life has met a new motivation which can be anything without ruling out…anyone). Some people can’t even confront you, they just fade away and ghost you, and that’s the biggest challenge yet.

Breakup Victims who’ve been ghosted are tormented by a million questions and never fully recover until the Ghost suddenly materializes once more to ask “how are you?” Because they realize the victim is well and alive, but then need to feel that they have to be forgiven by the ghosted. More of a cycle that states a lame excuse of “I’m only human” to just have a reason to continue life and not face their empty perception of reality in how or how they left us.

Still it’s not so hard to know if your S/O is having second thoughts, cold feet or simply grew out of you like a piece of clothing or a pair of shoes they can no longer bear. Lack of empathy, and treating you like an outsider are some symptoms, you no longer form part of their so called priorities on their schedule, no longer sharing common interests, even sporting a life of interests as if they were single. New statuses show up while you’re never to be found amongst them…follow the signs and trust your gutt if it’s telling you something, because it can never fool you. We need to learn to watch out for the red flashing lights ahead before falling off the cliff. Without forgetting that most of of these breakups were and are meant for the best. Because lets face it bouncing back into the same relationship which can’t fix or acknowledge there’s an existent unresolved issue is like a book you’ve already read…you already know how it ends.

Remember you are valued, important, appreciated, loved, needed and taken seriously from up above and from those who surround you and are willing to spend every loving moment with you. Don’t give up on yourself no matter what.

Back to the 1/2 Girlfriend Sanctuary

Once we’re in that category it seems our life ticks like a clock it’s hands of time don’t turn back to change. And they never will…Most of us girls let things go, or slide even pretend things aren’t happening or don’t exist just to avoid confrontation, awkward situations, even the pain, hurt, or just that eerie sensation produced by our thoughts and feelings in that multiplying bank we have in our chests…our hearts.

Let’s talk about trust…we girls have this tendency to fall in love with words, the way we’re treated if with loving kindness and led to believe so much with a tremendous amount of blind faith. Many times with our hearts on our sleeves we let the smallest of details slide. Sometimes it’s a matter of spending enough time together, (difficult for LDRS but not impossible to work around with) other times it’s a matter of trusting certain things to not happen. Yup, I’m talking about that great big leap of faith which we experience when we allow ourselves to think, feel and give our S/O that sacred vow…the vow of trust.

Trust is giving someone else the right to destroy you, but believing that they won’t…but sadly sometimes it doesn’t exactly go that way. We end up giving out more than we receive, and we end up with an amount of what, where, when, how and why did this happen?

Without any explanation it all hits and hurts us, “when we trust that person will not break us” yet we end up shattered by the simplest of things. For example I/myself would trust to not have to repeat myself to my S/O to not do something which I might’ve explained or hinted out that might hurt me…for me it could be a very different point of view than anyone else’s relationship. Let’s be honest we all have trust issues, yet we don’t address them the same way. Some of us have the patience to endure, but others don’t or can’t. It all depends on the communication you have.

How does this take us girls back to the half girlfriend sanctuary? Simple, we’re back to square one, stuck at three to five steps back hoping they notice the error code engraved on our hearts. The great divide that has been carved between trusting or just looking away. Yes we girls know this feeling too well, when it’s happened more than once or twice. We ourselves seek shelter behind that glass panel hoping it’s thick enough to not be breached as well. And sometimes secretly wish to lock the keys inside our heart’s vault to not feel its assault again.

This time their actions make our hearts ache, so we step behind the veil, hoping they try to see thru it but sometimes they can’t see the blur they’ve created in our eyes once the heart is scarred we’re afraid to stand and fight or let go what might be left inside of us. No matter how many hints we may give away they still seem clueless and our status doesn’t update til they are up against the feeling of walking into pulverized glass pieces of our hearts, with a possible goodbye.

My advice to this is

Dear Guys : think well what and how you do things before taking course of action, your words and ways can cost you losing her precious delicate heart, and if that shatters trust me on this one…all is lost once she walks away…


What next…

This is for all those treading on faulty, unstable, unknown or non defined grounds. What is it I’m referring to? Its simple it means to those who do not have the slightest clue of where they stand in that special persons life. Todays relationships are like jigsaw puzzles you must have the patience to find and fit all of the pieces within. But what happens if you already have all the pieces?

What follows next? What do you do? Do you put them all together and stay still or do you look at all of its details and find new things within it?

Lets put things in a different perspective shall we? Many go around following their goals, to some its a career, others its a passion, something which fuels their hearts and veins with adrenaline. But when it comes to being in love they can’t define what it means to them. And in many cases it takes a lower number on the checklist. Because they’re not sure if they want it, but are clueless to let the other person know as well. And they end up just like an umpire giving out mixed signals at the speed of light. Keeping the other person in a thick cloud of doubt and stress.

This is the main cause in what I call living in the “unknown zone” we struggle to show feelings, to give out hints like trial sized product freebies, yet no response or feedback on the quality of the product, which is us. We make so many efforts to get out of the unknown zone but sadly we sink in it further more. We find ourselves showering this person with so much attention, that we lose interest in ourselves. Its like a peacock when trying to parade their colors to attract the other partner or person in this cade whom our heart is fixated on only to see it didn’t work.

Frustration starts to build up and we begin to believe our efforts were as if nothing ever happened. So, what next? I’ve always said efforts speak louder than words, sometimes it takes absence to know what really matters. And even if we must take a moment for ourselves it’s better than just trying to avoid stepping on landmines that we can’t even see. We end up in tension and walking on eggshells breaking our own hearts in the process of trying to know our value in someone else’s hearts while we should learn to value ourselves other than pour out our life’s devotion to someone who doesn’t know what they want.

We need to walk away for sometime and give ourselves the opportunity to think about the valuable individual we truly are.


We Need To Talk…Our very own personal distress signal code

In many movies I’ve seen, the military code and term has been heard as May day!!! May day!!! May day!!! Whenever an aircraft was hit in midair or a vessel in the sea ( it’s meaning was an emergency code or distress signal in vocal radiofrequency allowing others to know they’d been struck, hit, in other words attacked and going down) without any type of possible survival most of the time. Yet an effective way of communication and discipline was instructed and made it thru with these words. To those who have served or are in active duty, I mean no disrespect. I salute your bravery, and courage. Stay Blessed Always. In my topic of today I’ll try to keep it simple when people tend to come together as in the military for example, they are changed, their nature is tamed and they acquire discipline, this is thru commitment & communication.

Now you might ask yourself what am i talking about today, its all about getting thru all the noise, distractions, secondary situations which aren’t on your list of priorities such as your commitment to communicate in your relationship should be. Now don’t get me wrong it’s not supposed to be one-sided it’s takes two for the balance. When you communicate you are bringing up something important, an issue that matters and wish to discuss with your other half.

Nowadays with so much technology and updates we get lost into, our sharing or spending time with one another falls into the same category as our phones, if you don’t pay your bill, you end up with a no service phone, or limited chances to do anything. Some people even use hacks to get it up and going but let’s face the bitter reality…”a relationship isn’t a phone or communication device” if you don’t give it the proper TIME, the proper BALANCE, AND COMMUNICATION it’s no good, & turns obsolete, it dies as a plant without water, you have to nurture it to keep it alive.

We all know that, but how do we keep up so we don’t lose track or sight of our relationship? Simple, time is essential for any type of interaction especially in LDRS. You need to make adjustments and pull away from anything that distracts your attention from communicating with the other half. When something is dear to us we tend to invest time and efforts in it and we show it off or it simply stands out. The same happens with a relationship the more you talk, the more you spend time to know each other, support decisions, challenge to accept differences and work around the situations to keep a balance for each other the better it’s foundation, to stay strong and come thru together.

Many times we basically listen to each other to reply, its sad but reality is it’s all about the tone we use during the moment. So in order for our vocalized radiofrequency distress signal to be heard effectively we need to discipline our skills and try new ways to get thru when we address an issue. Our nature should be tamed and committed to work things out. Remember the longer we wait to talk the more buildup we’ll be struggling with. Listen more, and act quickly upon anything that doesn’t allow you time for your relationship, even if your S/O doesn’t say it, but deep down inside they’re dying for you to pitch in and help save the vessel steer clear from saying May day!!! May day!!! May day!!!


The never-ending vow

Yep, its that time of the year again…people swarming everywhere to be or “try to” be on time. It’s the day most of us dread and others secretly hate or hope for, some wishing it had been over in 3,2,1 seconds and gone, others just wishing to speed up the calendar but as for anything and everything in life. Time is essential (I guess its just a matter of what we call priorities to actually give it the time required). And yup…another Valentine’s day…again.

Many consider this a date for love, others for friendship but others as just another ordinary day. A never ending cycle of emotions similarly as a rollercoaster has us going round in circles. Which brings me to a delicate topic widely spoken, seen but not always understood.

I’m talking about that “vow, promise, pact, tolken of commitment, affection, chosen to be exclusive, dedication, separation from the rest to become someone’s one and only” indeed its all about a ring for today.

But what is the true reason for a ring to be given? Well as per my knowledge and search a ring could symbolize different meanings when used to make it an “official public detail”, some cultures would use it as a representation of power or control, others as feelings for one another such as respect for friendship, many as status, yet nowadays its gone into a series of changes when pointing into a relationships direction.

Allow me to introduce you to what many have forgotten and have misinterpreted…let’s begin with the promise ring. This type of ring would either mean a reminder or vow to keep a promise to oneself and continue towards its fulfillment.

The other way its given is as a pact between two people to continue on a strong honorable path such as friendship.

The other one is also singled out as the very moment a young partner has reached a level of maturity and decides to make a solemn promise to stay and keep dedicated in a relationship until they are both ready to take their feelings to the next level…which is engagement and finally marriage not so later on. Its rarely spoken about nowadays, because to some its over rated, or just simply not so known about.

In high school guys would often give their ring to “the one” that meant the object of their affection it wasn’t a diamond ring, or an elaborated one at all, just simple to let her know she was special to him and chosen from his heart.

A promise ring signifies readiness and commitment (even thru the rough times) and that the special S/O would stay faithful until fulfilled its meaning. It was often given during sad moments of war or before travel to remind the other “I promise I’ll be back…in the name of what I feel and how much you mean to my heart…please promise you’ll wait for me”. In order to not lose the chance to make it clear that their devotion was undeniably true and a risk taking moment to leave with a warm feeling of motivation inside the heart once it was accepted.

If you are considering this moment to give someone a ring, remember its meaning and be clear about it, because it’s not just a piece of jewelry it signifies the beginning of a new journey from feelings into maturity, and from there to a never-ending vow. And vows are meant to keep and be fulfilled not broken, that is why the ring is a sealed off circle, its form means to never stop, some have designs, others are just simple, but the meaning within unveils its truth to the world to see, there was a promise once made and a challenge accepted to stay faithful to it til ready for the official “I Do”.


If you must leave…

New beginnings always scare us and the simple notion of moving on tends to stop us in our tracks. It’s a feeling that never grows old, and simply sheds a veil of uncertainty over our heads and oceans of feelings in our eyes.

Breaking up or giving yourself/them a break has never been easy, nor is it supposed to be that way. Breaking up is the chain reaction to an interrupted sequence of daily events. Which was suddenly caused from a buildup of actions leading to dire consequences that overflowed and ripped the bond once built. Letting go of strong habits such as the good morning/afternoon/night feelings you convey in a text/call or gestures is a difficult process, you go to sleep in a massive void called night and wake up to a terrifying world that seems careless and unaware of your present tragedy.

The way I see it, everything goes spiraling down to only find yourself in the end. It forces you to fight back and ask Why? But the reality is we never get that answer until fully recovered…Or are we? We get words of “comfort” saying “It was for the best, or it made you strong” and so many endless quotes or words that we end up believing them. And also thinking we are entitled to an apology, when the plain truth is he/she never really had the will to stay and fight, and we were left without a say or any choice…it was already made for us. One day not so far away we decide to tread on new grounds but finish stepping into quicksand talk with a potential S/O and run off for cover in fear that we will become left/abandoned/ghosted/forgotten/disposed of or however we feel or perceive it once more.

Our scar was covered but it burned open inside like twenty million suns in mid noon. And thats how we deal when they leave, they step out/away… our souls stripped bare, our hearts like a dry well or isolated desert with no shade or way to survive…even our eyes are consumed in darkness dreading the escape mode bestowed upon us. Yet we struggle to hide our pain.

Its a never-ending cycle that starts slowly increasing, creeping up from inside us like watching a wildfire unleashing its fury without mercy… so is the same excruciating sensation which never wants to leave us yet escorts us back and forth into a chapter we’ve never been allowed to exit.